On Bitch, Cunt, Whore and Slut
The Sex Trade and the Adult Industry
The Treatment of Women by Men
In the Trilogy, we do not use the ‘b’ word, the ‘c’ word or attempt to disparage women in any demeaning way. This is my personal preference, as I do not use these words and try very hard not to disparage women, even in subtle ways. Since I am not female, it is a work in progress. I have passed on these beliefs to my son.
I have been fortunate to be educated by women around sensitive subjects, code words and clever ways to demean and disparage women. I might not always agree with the conclusions of my female friends, but in context, I have been convinced that what might seem innocuous in one situation is not in another.
I correct people who use these terms in front of me, as I do when people use the ‘n’ word about Blacks, any number of disparaging terms about Latinos, and have seldom myself used any disparaging terms about Asians at any time. The last one I used, I abandoned many years ago.
Sex trade workers seem to be considered less than human by society at large, by police who seldom protect them, and by those men and women in the public who use and abuse them. I do not understand this for the life of me. I do not use the trade myself, but know men who have, and I have known women who have been active in the profession before changing their lives.
I have been told by both men and women friends about private sexual practices in confidence. Why, I do not know. But for some reason friends have felt the need to share for their own reasons. Some of that behavior appears in the Trilogy. Some exaggeration may be portrayed, but basically (other than mind experiences) most behaviors are authentic.
When living in Vancouver, BC, Canada, female sex trade workers often disappeared and for good reason: they were murdered. I do not think most people, especially the police, cared one iota. Just whores. Probably went home or moved on.
This was the case for a well known serial killer in Vancouver; they seem to be a favorite target for many serial killers.
Men and women in the “adult entertainment industry” are equally disparaged and looked down upon. They are entertainers; I no more believe what actors portray in adult videos is any different than what I see on TV or in the movies. It’s entertainment. I do not know anything about the industry, why men and women get into the biz, nor the sociology/psychology of this selection of the industry as a pastime or career.
If you don’t like this form of entertainment, don’t watch. But we are talking about our fellow human beings, and they all deserve respect. There is a list on the internet, easy to google of successful, well educated, and Mensa women in the industry.
It fucking annoys me when I hear Christians judge fellow Christians and others, though the Bible teaches them as follows:
“1. Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”
It never amazes me the number of the clergy who are regular clients in the sex trade or who watch adult entertainment, then go out like the hypocrites they are and preach sin to the congregation.
I am neither commentating nor suggesting my own purity. It would be hard to find.
On the treatment of women by men, this is a topic on which I could now write a book. On everything I’ve done right, the vast legion of things I’ve done wrong, of attitudes not worthy of me, and some that are. I regret my past stupidity, my errors in judgment and my poor conduct. What is portrayed in the Trilogy is aspirational, not from my own personal experience. I have been guilty of much reprehensible conduct; however, it has never been a one-way street.
Discrimination and sexual abuse has risen in public awareness to a point where it can no longer be ignored. But while gender equity and women coming forward helps, nothing will even change unless men take a leading role. That and women learn self-defence.
I can’t wait for the hate mail on this one.