The statistics of violence against women by men from puberty, through high school, college, the workplace, and the military, once revealed to me recently, was beyond anything I could have believed possible.  I still find the statistics to be incomprehensible.  In the military, it not only includes rape and sexual assault against women, but also men.

I still have trouble accepting what is clearly true.  While I have known more than a few women who have been raped and or sexually assaulted, the code of silence that women often adhere to is both understandable and, at the same time, a painful reality to acknowledge as a man.  I have no idea what to say or even think, other than there must be a sea change in attitude, beginning with men enforcing a new reality for other men and their children.

There must be new rules, new institutions, new patterns of thought and reaction.  Victim blaming, denials and old laws need to be rethought; penalties need to match the crime.  Women carry the mental scars forever, so punishment should not reflect the act of single crime, but a lifetime of punishment.

I highly recommend that parents who love their daughters should enroll them at the earliest age possible in martial arts training.  This suggestion is not overreaction, it is adequate reaction to a very real danger that women face.

I don’t have answers about how to change male attitudes, except it must start in the home.  The penal system, police and other agencies do not seem to take this issue seriously; men often think these allegations are made up, or consent was given and that no does not mean no.  Why is the default assumption that an allegation by a woman means nothing, and men are therefore telling the truth?

Men need to step up and, by that, I mean any guy who becomes aware of the abuse needs to take steps.  When the system doesn’t take women seriously and the law is ineffective, the right of self defense takes over.